What to Do When a Friend Hurts You Psalm 55:12-14 Devotional

In this Psalm 55:12-14 Devotional, we’ll explore friendship, how to be a Christian friend, and how to let go when relationships end. If you’ve ever faced the betrayal of a close friend, you know the great pain it can bring. David’s words remind us that the theme of betrayal is nothing new, but they also point us back to the One who never leaves us, offering comfort, healing, and hope when our hearts are hurting.

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Have you been hurt by a close friend? Do you feel like you’ve been betrayed by someone you trusted? How can you get through it and move on?

We celebrate our friendships. Especially those with our sisters in Christ. We feel that we have a special bond with our Christian girlfriends that we don’t share with other people. We can open up about the hardships we face in life and share how our faith helps us through them.

But as much as we cherish these friendships, the truth is that sometimes they end. One day, your relationship is thriving, and the next thing you know, it’s over. I’m not talking about a casual friendship or someone that you see in passing, but rather that one girlfriend you shared a deep and intimate friendship with. You told each other everything, and you felt that you were closer than sisters. This is the girlfriend that you thought would be there for you until the bitter end. The one friend you thought you would never be hurt by.

Maybe you had a falling out, or maybe you have no idea what went wrong. Either way, they’ve left you in the dust and moved on. Their life seems to be moving forward while you’re standing still and wondering what happened. The pain is real, and somehow the fact that it was another Christian makes the wound even deeper. You feel alone and betrayed.

But you’re not the first to feel this way. In fact, King David described the same experience in the book of Psalms, and his words in Psalm 55:12-14 give us a glimpse into the heartbreak and the hope that comes when a trusted friend turns against us.

What is the Meaning of Psalm 55:12-14?

For it is not an enemy who reproaches me;
Then I could bear it.
Nor is it one who hates me who has exalted 
Himself against me;
Then I could hide from him.
But it was you, a man my equal,
My companion and my acquaintance.
We took sweet counsel together,
And walked to the house of God in the throng…

Cast your burden on the Lord,
And He will sustain you.

Psalm 55:12-14; 55:22

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These verses reveal the point of David’s sorrow. The betrayal he felt didn’t come from an open foe or known enemy, but from someone he had trusted deeply, an intimate friend he had shared sweet fellowship with. That’s what makes this psalm so relatable, because betrayal always cuts deepest when it comes from those closest to us.

The occasion of this psalm is one of the darkest moments of David’s life, when his closest relationships fell apart and the people he leaned on turned against him. Instead of lashing out, David turned his grief into prayer, showing us that the best way to deal with betrayal is by taking our broken hearts directly to God.

Through David’s prayers, we see a man who was honest about his pain but still placed his trust in the Lord. Psalm 55 reminds us that God can handle our raw emotions and that He offers us the strength we need when our human relationships fail.

David’s Pain in Psalm 55:12-14

David was in terrible pain. Because it wasn’t an enemy who had betrayed him. It was his trusted friend, his companion and confidant, someone David had worshipped God with and shared sweet fellowship alongside. This betrayal struck at the very core of David’s life, leaving him with a broken heart and a deep sense of loss.

But in his grief, David was reminded to cast his burden on God, his one true friend. That choice gave him the strength to endure, even when others failed him. So what do you do when a friend hurts you? How can you find comfort and strength to move on?

David’s pain in Psalm 55 wasn’t just about a single relationship… it was tied to one of the most heartbreaking seasons of his life, when even his own household rose up against him. This betrayal, connected to his son Absalom and Ahithophel’s counsel, gives us deeper insight into his sorrow and why these verses speak so powerfully to us today.

David’s Son Absalom and Ahithophel’s Betrayal

To truly understand Psalm 55:12-14, we need to look at the story behind it. The occasion of Absalom’s conspiracy was one of the darkest seasons of David’s life. His own son, Absalom, rose up against him in an attempt to take the throne. Betrayal is always painful, but when it comes from a trusted family member, the wound cuts especially deep.

Then Absalom would say to him, “Look, your case is good and right; but there is no deputy of the king to hear you.” Moreover Absalom would say, “Oh, that I were made judge in the land, and everyone who has any suit or cause would come to me; then I would give him justice.” And so it was, whenever anyone came near to bow down to him, that he would put out his hand and take him and kiss him. In this manner Absalom acted toward all Israel who came to the king for judgment. So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
2 Samuel 15:3-6 NKJV

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Adding to this pain was the loss of another trusted friend, Ahithophel, one of David’s closest advisors. Scripture tells us that Ahithophel’s words were so highly respected that his counsel was regarded as if it came directly from God. And yet, during the account of Absalom’s rebellion, Ahithophel turned his back on David and gave his advice to Absalom instead.

Now the advice of Ahithophel, which he gave in those days, was as if one had inquired at the oracle of God. So was all the advice of Ahithophel both with David and with Absalom.
2 Samuel 16:23 NKJV

For David, this was more than a political uprising, it was the broken heart of a father and king watching those closest to him turn against him. Psalm 55:12-14 echoes this sorrow, showing us the grief of a man who felt abandoned, betrayed, and surrounded by enemies on every side.

But David didn’t lose hope. His prayer reminds us that when relationships fail, whether through family conflict, the betrayal of a close friend, or the schemes of false companions, we can still cling to the faithfulness of God, because He will never abandon His people.

Just like David’s son betrayed him, another betrayal would rock the world generations later… when the Son of David, Jesus Christ, was betrayed by Judas Iscariot.

Judas Iscariot: The Ultimate Betrayal

The betrayal David experienced in Psalm 55 points us forward to an even greater act of treachery… the night when Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus Christ. Judas was one of the twelve disciples, someone who had walked with the Lord, shared meals with Him, and witnessed His miracles. He wasn’t a distant enemy but a close companion, a man on intimate terms with Jesus, who used the trust of friendship to carry out the most painful act of all, the betrayal of our Lord.

Then one of the twelve, called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, ‘What are you willing to give me if I deliver Him to you?’ And they counted out to him thirty pieces of silver. So from that time he sought opportunity to betray Him.
Matthew 26:14–16 NKJV

Judas sold out the Savior for money, handing Him over to the religious leaders who wanted Him dead. What makes this so tragic is that Judas wasn’t an obvious opponent. He looked like a trustworthy friend but revealed the faithlessness of a favoured disciple, someone who seemed close to Jesus but proved false when it mattered most.

In that moment, Jesus felt the sting of betrayal in a way that none of us could ever fully imagine. And yet, just like David, He turned to the Father and placed His trust in the One who never fails. Through His work on the cross, Jesus showed us that even betrayal can be used for God’s greater purpose, our salvation and the eternal hope we have in Him.

No matter how hard we try to avoid it, betrayal is still part of our lives today, and it often comes when we least expect it. Is there a type of Judas in your life, someone who has broken your trust or turned against you when you needed them most?

Just as David grieved the loss of an old friend and Judas betrayed Jesus through a false religious connection, we too face the pain of broken trust. So how should we respond when a friend hurts us?

What to Do When a Friend Hurts You

Seek Closure if Possible

Find closure if you can. Go to this dear friend and ask them what happened. Why are they shunning you? Let them know that you want to work it out. Maybe your relationship can be saved, maybe it can’t. But at least you will know that you tried to fix the problem.

It’s never easy to approach someone who has hurt you, but sometimes that conversation opens the door to healing. Even if nothing changes, you’ll know you spoke with honesty and grace. An intimate friend can leave behind deep wounds, but Proverbs reminds us that “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Proverbs 27:6 NKJV). Honest dialogue, even when painful, can lead to understanding and give God space to restore what’s broken.

Trust God’s Plan in Broken Friendships

Realize that God has a plan for your life and for theirs. God brings people together for a reason, and sometimes He pulls them apart for another. It’s hard for us to understand this because we can’t see the future, but God has a reason for everything He does. Pray and ask God what His reason is. You may be surprised by the answer.

When we remember that David was called a man after God’s own heart, it encourages us to keep trusting Him even in times of loss. Friendships may change, but the Lord’s purposes never fail. The Apostle Paul told us… “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28 NKJV).

This truth gives us courage in our times of trouble. Even when we don’t understand why someone walked away, we can have complete confidence that God is still in control and working out His plan for our lives.

Forgive and Wish Them Well

Wish your friend well and move on. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times.” Love and forgiveness may seem like an impossible feat at a time like this, but God can give you the heart to do it. Give it some time and try to move forward with your life. Forgiveness will come.

Even when a good friend lets us down, we are still called to reflect the love of Christ. The closeness we once shared with our best friends may be gone, but God fills the empty space with His presence and peace. Forgiveness not only frees the one who hurt us, it also frees us to live with joy as part of God’s people, who are marked by His grace and mercy.

Read More:

• Wonder… Why Should We Love One Another? Read This!

• Eye-Opening Bible Verses about Loving Your Neighbor!

• Explore Why Our Hope is in the Lord in this Bible Study!

God’s Hand in Friendship

When earthly friendships fail, we can take comfort in knowing that God never walks away. He is always by our side, steady and unchanging, the one we can call on in every moment.

Even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.
Psalm 139:10 NKJV

This verse reminds us that the hand of God is always guiding us, holding us with steadfast love when others let go. Unlike fragile human bonds, His friendship is constant and true. As God’s people, we can find rest in His presence, knowing that the Lord calls us into a faithful and good fellowship with Him.

For the true Christian, this is the ultimate hope, that even when our dearest relationships fall apart, God’s hand will never leave us. He’s the friend who is always closer than a brother, and His presence is the place of peace and security we long for.

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Prayer for When a Friend Hurts You

One of the most painful things we can go through is the breakup of a close friendship. It’s easy to become jaded and think we’ll never have another friend that close again. But if we turn to God, we’ll find the comfort and strength we’re looking for. Our Heavenly Father loves us and wants to give us wonderful blessings.

When a friend leaves us with a broken heart, the pain can feel unbearable. But we can take comfort knowing that even the Son of Man, Jesus Christ, was betrayed, and He understands exactly what we’re going through. What feels like rejection to us isn’t the end of the story, because God can use it to strengthen our faith and keep us steady, even in the face of enemies of the church or those who turn against us.

And when the pain feels too heavy to carry, the best place to turn is prayer, laying it all before God and trusting Him to bring peace. Here’s a short prayer that will get you started…

Dear Heavenly Father, I’ve been hurt by a close friend. I come to You now asking for the comfort that only You can provide. Please fill my heart with love and acceptance. Please help me to forgive and move forward with Your plan for my life, and please be with my friend as she moves on as well. I know that You have our best interests in mind and that you will take care of both of us. Thank you for Your gentleness in guiding me back to where I need to be. In Jesus name, Amen.

Our True Friend and Place of Refuge

In this Psalm 55:12-14 Devotional, we’ve seen how painful it is when betrayal comes, not from an enemy, but from someone close, a trusted friend, or even a family member. David’s words echo the sorrow of a broken heart, but they also remind us where to turn when the wounds of a friend cut us deep.

Through the struggles of King David’s life, we learn that God is always faithful. He became David’s place of refuge in the middle of betrayal and loss, and He offers us that same shelter today. When others fail us, Jesus Christ stands as the friend who will never walk away, the one who carries our burdens and heals the pain that no one else can see.

This psalm may reflect the darkest moments of David’s journey, but it also points us to the hope of the cross and the victory of Jesus, who understands our pain and redeems it with His love. Let that be the final word in your heart today, because your true hope isn’t found in human interactions, but in the unshakable faithfulness of God.

So when betrayal comes, take your brokenness to Him. Trust Him as your closest companion and your safe place. And rest in this truth… God will never abandon you, and His hand will always hold you fast.

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